biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i think i just lost a toe
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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