I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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