I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
