You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
