it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Randomize
