xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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