If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
