You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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