Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
