shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
