she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize