There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
