ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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