Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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