She is in my trunk
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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