Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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