i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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