sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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