Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize