I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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