just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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