Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize