Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
