how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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