What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The power of my boobs compel you
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
