I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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