I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
