4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
