May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
