she was so not down for the gang bang
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
