Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
