Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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