KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Green mimosas i think yes
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
