ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
