Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
