Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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