how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize