I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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