I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
