Non-Jews are for practice
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
