Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
