the condom got lost in my hair
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
