that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
