I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
3pm strippers are depressing
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
