not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
