Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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