Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
