You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
