I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
this must be what syphilis tastes like
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
