goodnight i made you a song goodbye
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize