i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
