Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
