The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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