I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She told me I should be a condom model.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
