the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Success! We fucked roommates!
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