Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I deserve this hangover.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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