i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
