Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Bring me that man meat
Randomize
