I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
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