I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
