I CAN MOONWALK!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I will be naked everywhere
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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