She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
