Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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