I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
