so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
