You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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