So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
