My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i think i just lost a toe
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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